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Sorry, no Moravians until tomorrow. But until then, I must share with you that I had a wonderful conversation with Mark Ramquist, a former missionary to Japan. Over lunch he shared with me his passion for acting and screenwriting –and I suggested a subject for a powerful movie, the life of Henry Opukaha’ia. I had actually been thinking about a Henry Opukaha’ia movie before, when I read his memoirs I was left breathless –they are so incredibly powerful and they would be great as a movie.

I think people must be tired of hearing me talk about Henry Opukaha’ia; I’ve shared his story with so many people –especially my Hawaiian friends. This has got me thinking, I’m going to make a concerted effort to outline the plot and write a script for a movie about his life and the effects that it had on Hawaii. How God used one boy to change an entire nation. I think this is a good project for me to take up as I consider graduate school.  More to come. 

Our church has a tradition of encouraging people to pick a verse to define them or to strive after for the coming year. I should say that we are encouraged to pick it, but last year I really felt that my key verse picked me. As I was reading through favorite books in the bible looking, I came across Ephesians 4:1-3, I read the part, ‘be completely humble, and gentle, bearing with one another in love.’ And I said, ‘that isn’t me!’ and I flipped the page. But the Spirit convicted me that this was the verse that God wanted me to concentrate on for the year. I have to admit, I didn’t live up to it; I’ve definitely got more of Paul’s tendencies towards brashness than Barnabas’ tendencies towards reconciliation.

I was very thankful to be able to spend the year being encouraged to be more humble, more loving and considering others. Although I’ve made mistakes I really want to grow in this more. As I was reflecting on the past year during the New Years Eve service I couldn’t help but remember all of my sins and failures in spite of the noblest desire to overcome. At that time God gave me another verse, well verses for this coming year. As I am currently applying to graduate schools and praying about my future these verses seemed particularly applicable.

Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 3:12-14

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. –Matthew 6:33

No one reads this, so I can say whatever I want and get away with it. Right now my life seems to be coasting. I’ve got a job with a Christian non-profit, but I don’t feel challenged. I’m very active in my church, but I don’t feel as if I’m accomplishing anything. I’ve got friends, but I’m not very close to anyone. I keep myself busy with reading, but I don’t know if I’m learning anything. I feel like God is calling me to do much more, but I’m paralyzed with excuses.

Every day I pass a street where drug dealers and gangs congregate, I walk past with a bag full of books about evangelism and soul winning, but I don’t stop. I tell myself, ‘I go to a middle-class Asian-American church, even if I did talk to them, where would I tell them to go? They certainly wouldn’t fit in at our congregation’ ‘I’m not a pastor, can I care for anyone else’s spiritual needs?’ ‘Didn’t Jesus send out his disciples two by two? I can’t go without someone to go with me.’

I feel neutered, spiritually impotent. I think about attending a different church, a more multi-ethnic church with more of a range of social and economic backgrounds… but do I change churches just to reach people who I don’t even know if I’m supposed to reach? Do I sacrifice all of my relationships with peers and leaders to make myself more capable of being a gospel messenger?

As I type this I know the answer, I know the answer is that I shouldn’t be selfish with my relationships, with my comfort zone. The Holy Spirit has prompted this dilemma in my heart; I need to start checking door handles to see if there are any open doors for me to learn how to be an effective Gospel witness.

I never liked the idea of being a street preacher. Seeing people on my college campus with big billboards with bible verses, speaking through megaphones. But I can’t help but thinking about how important personal evangelism is. Today the church seems to only care about friendship evangelism –well what about the friendless. We’re denying people the gospel because we’re only sharing it with people who are our friends.

I was reading DL Moody last night and he made a few very good points; one of them was that Jesus gave his best sermons to individuals. The way that he spoke with Nicodemus and the Samaritan woman was much more intimate, much more powerful than anything he ever spoke to the crowd, and those conversations are full of more of his heart than any time that he preached at a Synagogue. Moody said that everyone is waiting for the opportunity to preach in front of thousands of people, all the while missing opportunities to meet one on one and share the Gospel with those people they pass daily. He said that the most effective evangelists were those who never missed an opportunity to share the gospel with even one person.

Moody also talked at length about sharing the Gospel with our enemies. Moody expounded on Jesus’ command to go and preach the Gospel in Jerusalem, and Peter asked, ‘Even to those that crucified you.’ And Jesus answered, ‘Especially to those that crucified me.’ The Gospel isn’t just for our friends, or people that we feel comfortable, the command to take the Gospel to every creature is a command to go out of one’s comfort zone, to go to the foreigners, to go to our enemies. I am a failure when it comes to this aspect of my Christian life.

I feel that my Christian life has been too self focused; it’s all been about me becoming a better person… but what for? I’ve spent the last seven years at this church trying to become better, and even though I’ve changed so much in the past seven years I feel like I’m so far from where I should be. I think my main problem is that my focus has been on my own spiritual development, and not on others.

There’s an old saying, you have to teach something to someone to truly know it yourself. I think that is what I’ve been feeling recently, I need to go and teach what I’ve been learning for so long, my head is full of so much information, but there is so little practice of all of that information that has to do with evangelism.

CS Lewis wrote in his book ‘Mere Christianity’ that when we pray for our enemies, they’re no longer our enemies, they’re our friends. CS Lewis found that there were psychological and practical benefits to praying for others. I think when we reach out to people with the Gospel, it’s not just for them, but it’s also for us. When we are faithful to reach out to a stranger with the Gospel, that person is no longer a stranger even if they don’t accept it, they’ve gone from another person who is passed on the street to an intimate concern for that person. Preaching the Gospel isn’t just about God restoring his relation with his people, but man restoring his relationship with other men.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written here, and oh do I have stories to tell. I must first begin by telling you that I have gotten rid of a great burden. For years I’ve been struggleing with my attachment to the internet -ever since I was twelve or thirteen I’ve been addicted to the internet. I’ve also tried self medicating, like setting internet parental controls and typing in a randomish password, or leaving my laptop at my parents house for months on end.

 Well I’ve finally taken the final step of selling my only working computer. Last night I sold my three year old Apple Powerbook for $725. I was happy about the price and I was happier to be free of that addiction. I still have access to the internet at work, and am more than happy to be free of it at home.

For the last fourteen and a half weeks I’ve been taking a class called Perspectives. The focus of the class is on world missions, although Ralph Winters the creator of the curriculum suggested that it was an essential class for anyone who wanted to take their walk with Christ seriously –missions is a loaded word and I think he wants to get away from it being called a ‘missions class.’

The Perspectives curriculum is divided into four major sections, the biblical mandate for missions, the history of missions, and the cultural and strategic aspects of missions. These four areas of study create a frame that a believer can use to see the world through Christ’s eyes and understand His heart cry for the lost.

To say that this class has been transforming for me would be an understatement, I have been incredibly blessed by this class and can see how God led me to this class by his providence.

While at the University of Washington I started out my International Studies major on the Japan track and switched over to general Asia with a focus on Korea. A lot of this had to do with the other people I saw doing the Japan track and a certain amount of pride I took over being better than them –or not wanting to be associated with them.

After college I decided not to pursue a career in my field of study because it would require traveling abroad, I was comfortable at my church and made the decision to stay and serve as best as I could in Seattle. I took a job with an Insurance company and put my passion for the world in my back pocket for a rainy day.

While working for the insurance company I read Keith Green’s Why You Should Go to the Missions Field and realized that I had used many of the excuses that it had outlined. I found a ministry, Gospel for Asia that I greatly admired and applied for an internship only to be turned down because I had too much debt.

Through a course of events, both fated and fumbling I ended up leaving my job at the insurance company and took a job with a Christian ministry with a missions emphasis. God was allowing me to get exposure to the mission field while at the same time making money in order to pay off my debts.

Within the first few weeks of starting my new jobs, a woman from one of the broader missions that my organization is involved in found out about my interest in missions and urged me to take Perspectives. The only problem was that she told me about perspectives the day before the first class and I didn’t have the money. Despite my excuses God showed his hand and I found that I did have the money and could take the class.

This Thursday will be the last Perspectives class session and next Friday the commissioning service. I’m so blessed and excited to use and share what I’ve learned in this class. The door has also been opened for me to attend the summer mission trip to Japan with my church. I’m really excited to see how God will expand my heart for His people.